I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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