His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize