I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
