What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
