what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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