I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize