Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
