they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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