i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
