is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize