so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
