I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize