What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
