Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
