swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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