If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have fence marks all over my body
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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