My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
