You're so nebulous sometimes
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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