I wannas sexs uuuuu
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
40s are totally the cure
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
