it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
