dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
