There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
