I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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