you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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