I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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