just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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