I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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