So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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