Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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