it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
high people should be assigned attendants
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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