I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
