Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
