No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
