Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
