When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
