..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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