Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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