clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
