so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
