i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
