it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
