yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
