If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
