I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
