is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
