You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
