I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
where does the pee come out of this thing
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
