I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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