Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize