Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
