Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
