I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
