I'm laying in your front yard are you home
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i would punch a child for taco bell
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
