My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
