You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
