New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
