is your mom at the bar?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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