you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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