Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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