I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
