You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
