i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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