walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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