We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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