If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
