hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
