Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
