STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
