I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
