Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we're making bets on your personal life
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
