Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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