Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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