Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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